My Selfish Tears

With tears in my eyes I try to find the answers to my many questions
I searched all over and still no answer
I know in the past I told you I would do better
This time I mean it
Are you there God?
Please answer me
I know it may seem like "I’m the boy who cried wolf"
God just hear my cry for help
Maybe I saw too much of man and not enough of you
And my devotions were controlled by selfish points of view
When times I should have ran to worship instead I worshipped men
The stench of pride and sin brought flames of arrogance
I’ve been a mess for so long and I’ve lost so many battles
This time I’m coming to you to heal my many pains
The times when I wanted to seek your face I was just coming to see what I could see
Have you ever been in this place?
I’ve lost the way and didn’t hear your voice when you tried to speak
I need You again
I don’t need anything else but you
I used you when my heart was broken
But I was so fast to forget You when things were looking good
I keep telling myself I don’t need anything else but You and this time I mean it
No matter if I ever fall in love again
I know that man can not do it nobody but you God
I’m desperate

My Struggle is not so different from many. I’ve been in this battle for a while now, I know it might seem selfish once again for me to call on God now and I ask myself “why should He hear my cry”. I’m desperate.

Where You Are

Well to day is just another day in my little ol’ world and I really didn’t have much to say
But there were a few lines that I wanted to share with my people
I have been feeling a strong passion for God
There have been so many times that I’ve filled this empty place in my heart by running to the arms of a lover but right now I’m alone and there are no arms to run into and it won’t be for a while so instead of going out and trying to fill it with the love of another I decided to give it all to God no more running, time out for games
I pray that as you read my blogg that you are able to find love in a higher power than man.

I’ve not come for form
I’ve not come for motion
I just long to be wanna be where you are
I don’t care who’s not
I just long to be wanna be where you are
With my praising Lord in my dancing Lord
I just long to be where you are
No more man pleasing, I need you again
One thing I desire and that one thing I will seek
That I will be with you forever

Early Morning Reflection

I woke up this morning not feeling too good. This weather here in Atlanta is crazy one min. it’s warm next it super duper cold LOL. Each morning I take time out for me to reflect on my life. So this morning I was thinking about love and what it really means I wanted to go for an early morning ride, and when I got back home I began to type and I wanted to share with you want what was on my brain.
Driving down the side of interstate 75 going 45 with my radio off
Cause I didn’t want to hear somebody’s mis-ills on love and lost
I’m here to seek God
Here to feel God
Cause there gotta be more to this now
Yeah something’s gotta give
I figured out love is more than what we say or do
All this pain all this hurt can’t make anyone free
I think I’m stuck in what I thought this thing would be
Love is just not your boyfriend/girlfriend
Nor is it just about your kids or family
But it’s about your relationship with God
So that you can be the person you supposed to be
Then you can provide for all your love ones
Emotionally, Spiritually, and Physically
So I found this love in God its pretty cool
Cause nothing else can compare to where God is taking me
I’m beside myself
All wrapped up in how He’s making me feel…
If loving God becomes a crime I’ll just have to do my time…
Your love towards me means Everything

Relax and Chill

Relax and chill cause you said you had a bad day
Stop moving
You deserve this break, the words I type are for you
They said you’d never make it through
But you’ll be ok today
Single sister drama
Single brother drama
Part time friend’s… drama
Part time ends, you’ll be ok today
Listen
The sweetest momma drama cause daddy’s got problems… drama
Or work so hard no one wasn’t there to solve them…drama
Your day is almost over
You’ll be ok today so relax
I know you think I’m crazy…
Well just maybe crazy enough to believe your worth has been mistaken
Well I can’t stress enough the need to say I love you
This day and everyday
I won’t forget the struggle and won’t forget the war
And you don’t forget that I love you
I’ll die if you give up, so as you sit and read
Take five minutes here cause you’re gonna be ok
All the screaming, running, driving and going for others
Don’t let that stress your day
Not Today
All the hustling and tustling and cussing and fussing for nothing
Don’t let that cloud your day
You’ll make it through
I’m proud of you
You’ll be ok
RELAX

Dance with God

Gotta Dance with God
Never mind the status quo
Or what you think you know
Only blind men go for broke
Love blinds the foolish soul
We aren’t perfect never been
Love never lost a win
We never lost our sins
You could never loose what’s born within
Something’s gotta break us through
Something’s gotta see us through
More than what we say or do
Put your problems on hold
I can’t wait until I dance with God
Never mind if we’re right
Never mind if we’re wrong
Never mind the consequence
Never mind cause nobody can throw the stone
Man I have to dance with God
I’ve got to dance with God tonight
I’ve got to see him, feel him I wanna be right there
Need Him to hold me
No problems, no questions, and no answers
I just wanna Dance with God

Can It Be Love

WOW! Is the only word I can use right now. I think I saw one of the most striking men on earth. He is tall, low cut, wide shoulders, great smile, and his body is sick! I tried to look into his eyes without him noticing; on my god what I saw was little bits and pieces of a broken heart that’s in the middle of mending. I took another glance there was a little creativity and passion. I’m telling you this man is giving off dreamy, romantic, generous, emotional, receptive, and affectionate. I know you might be asking well damn how you get all this from just one look, well it has been at least 2 months now that I’ve been looking at this gift from GOD. I went into the bathroom and what did I see, the Gift LOL ok this is what we are going to call him “The Gift” he was in the mirror wiping off the water on his body after a hot shower his hair had a little curl and as he took that towel in his hand to wipe his legs I looked at the tone and muscles, kind of turned me on. I kept on looking out the corner of my eyes I wanted to help wipe the water that ran down the tattoo that had a symbol of what I believe is his faith in God. GEEEEEZZZZZ a God fearing man, I told myself I have to say something to him. I waited and I looked I waited some more and kept looking. OK! Here goes nothing so I looked up and said HI, and the reply was the same. Damn wait a minute that voice sound familiar and I looked into his eyes real good because at this point I’m up-close. I looked and noticed the guy that I’ve been looking at for the past 2 months was Me looking into a mirror.

So I came to the realization that I’m starting to fall in love with me something that I’ve never tried before. I noticed I stop hurting me and started to love me. I left the old me in 2006. The old me can not come back because this love I’ve found with the new me which is still called the “The Gift” is so strong and damn for the 1st time it feels good. Some may call it Vain but I call it Truly Loving Yourself First. So right now I’m going to enjoy this new life with The Gift and go and have a three some with Me, Myself and I.